14/30 "just saying"

Every time my thoughts cross paths with the likes of you
its as if I’m lifted inches off the ground
floating
like gravity doesn’t exists
filling my head with helium
Giving the illusion I’m big headed
not actually
But in a sense where anything is what i could achieve
sometimes i believe
You've got ropes tied to my ankles
gps tracking me
mentally
popping up in situations where your name is far from destination trying to ignore your presence
But my eyes are tempted
To stare in your direction
How is it 6 years of knowing
Still leaves me guessing
Stressing
Pressuring
The fact that our relation
Has no significant
Meaning
Not even associates fit our complications
We discriminate feelings as if they're what caused the drama
When
It was the lying
The dealing
The ignoring
And factual pictures
You messed (fucked) up
But
I stayed with ya
Learning to Suppress my hearts importance
Becoming cold hearted
It seemed like the right thing to do then
To avoid complications
Fitting ground level back into the equation
Seeing a change in me
You hated this
Trying to strut your stuff like you had it then
FYI
Not a good impression
More like turn off I'm disgusted
But not like vomit more so how Lenny died on of mice and men
I know right
But sometimes I seem to forget all this
And even though my feet rest safely amongst the ground
Time to time I find it fading rather than floating
How so you asked?
No matter what I won't stop loving him